Trying to conceive can be one of the most stressful experiences because it’s not about the effort, it’s also about the expectations, hopes, and ultimately, disappointment when nothing happens. Getting a period while trying to conceive is probably akin to getting stabbed in the chest and losing air, as it’s the ultimate sign of failure.
However, getting dejected and anxious isn’t doing you any favors, and instead of feeling blue and hopeless, here are some tips that will help you deal with the stress of trying to conceive:
1. Communicate your feelings
Holding everything in will only have negative consequences for your mental well-being. On the other hand, complaining to everyone you meet might come across as needy and possibly annoying. Therefore, it’s important to find a balance and to know who to trust. Sharing your stress and frustration with your best friends, family members and other people you love can make you feel relieved, mainly since they’re likely to offer you their support and love. Trying for a baby is an intimate journey, but sharing your issues with loved ones can make it feel much easier.
2. Talk to a professional
Talking to a mental health professional might be a huge relief, especially if you don’t have anyone around you to talk to. A good therapist will listen to all your concerns while also offering healthy coping mechanisms that won’t ruin your mental and physical health. Also, going to therapy can help you become stronger, more focused and better at communicating with your family, friends, and co-workers. And keep in mind that talking to a fertility therapist once or twice can help analyze your situation and learn how to deal with the stress of trying to conceive. Having these types of conversations with someone whose job is to make you feel better will definitely improve your mental health and teach you to be stronger and less anxious.
3. Find a support group
Talking to loved ones can help you to a degree, but finding a support group or a community of people who are going through the exact same thing can be a life-changing experience. Your friends and family members can only help so much, especially if they have never been in your shoes, so getting help from various supportive ttc forums will surely help you grow as a person and learn something new. Maybe you’ll even meet some interesting people and create meaningful friendships along the way. Trying for a baby is a difficult journey for some, so knowing people who share your problems can change your mindset and help you focus on things that truly matter.
4. Do new things to occupy yourself
Most women who aim to conceive often get focused on that goal that they forget to do other interesting things. That’s quite understandable, but on the other hand, getting occupied with new hobbies and other activities can help you take your mind off the stress of getting pregnant. Traveling, yoga, meditation, cooking, photography or even blogging are all excellent ways to be productive and learn some new skills that will help you deal with the stress of trying to get pregnant. Maybe going out and joining your local pottery group isn’t your top priority, but doing things unrelated to fertility/conceiving will be more helpful than being obsessed and beating yourself over the fact that you haven’t been able to conceive yet.
5. Make your lifestyle your priority
Browsing baby websites while feeling all sad isn’t going to help you, but changing your lifestyle definitely will. Besides, adopting new habits will make you healthy and stronger which is always helpful when trying for a baby. One of the most helpful things you could do is changing your diet and becoming more physically active. Additionally, quitting smoking and drinking can be beneficial, since nicotine and alcohol can have an effect on fertility and the ability to conceive. Being more focused on your well-being and preparing new, healthy meals can take your mind off and make you feel much better about your own abilities.
6. Stay hopeful
Getting your hopes high and then feeling let down when things don’t go according to the plan can be a path to depression and despair, so staying positive and hopeful is the sure way to keep your sanity throughout the whole baby-making journey. This can be much harder than it seems, but a positive mindset and optimism will be more helpful than feeling sorry for yourself and feeling envious every time you see a woman with a baby. Maybe it sounds harsh but envy and pessimism won’t do you any good because focusing on what could go wrong instead of being positive will only make you feel worse, which is the last thing you need.
7. Reject feeling ashamed
Feeling shameful and hating yourself is the last thing you should do — instead, be upfront about your issues, because some people will see you as a victim no matter what, and their opinions cannot be changed no matter how much you try. On the other hand, others will act like everything’s your fault. The truth is, none of them are worth your time and effort, because these people aren’t your friends as long as they act that way. Always make sure to reject shame and self-loathing because you deserve to be happy and optimistic, especially in a stressful period such as trying for a baby.
These tips will surely help you feel better about yourself, so before you start getting desperate, make sure to bring some positive changes into your life first. Surround yourself with people who wish you well, and always be positive, no matter what.